If you aren't aware about what's going on (as I wasn't just a couple of hours ago), here's the scoop: In a recent ad for J.Crew clothing, Jenna Lyons, the company's creative director, posed with her son Beckett. In the picture, Jenna is painting her son's toenails pink:
The ad reads "Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon."
Beckett is 5. When I first saw the ad, I thought the picture was adorable. What is so wrong with painting a boy's nails. I mean, come on, how many of us painted someone's little brother's nails when we were kids (or even our own friends)?
I was not really surprised about the controversy that has erupted because of the ad, because of course people are going to react differently to this issue. Transgender is certainly gaining more attention right now than ever before, clearly making it a hot topic.
I am surprised, however, at the extent to which people have gone to criticize the ad. Psychologist Dr. Keith Ablow said the following about it on FOX News:
"It is unwise to dress little girls like miniature adults (in halter tops and shorts emblazoned with PINK across the bottoms) and it is unwise to encourage little boys to playact like little girls."
I'm not sure about any of you, but in my opinion that's not really a fair comparison to make. To me, a fair comparison would have been that it is unwise to allow little girls to play with trucks and action figures like little boys just as it is unwise to let little boys put on nail polish and play with Barbies like little girls (which I don't believe, by the way).
Why didn't the psychologist make that comparison instead? Well, of course I'm not sure, but maybe one reason is because our society has made it acceptable for girls to plays with boys' toys. I used to work at a fast food restaurant, and when we had separate girls' and boys' toys for the kids' meals, if we weren't sure what the sex of the child was, we would always give them a boys' toy. Why? Well, because, if a boy got a girls' toy, 9 times out of 10 they would bring it back in order to exchange it for a boys' toy. But, if a girl got a boys' toy, 9 times out of 10 they would not bring it back (these aren't actually calculate statistics, by the way, just my own estimate). In fact, sometimes the girls would come back with the girls' toy and ask for a boys' toy instead!
In our culture, it has become completely acceptable for girls to want to play with boys' toys. Legos, action figures, race cars - you name it, and girls most likely are allowed to play with that toy. As soon as a boy touches an Easy Bake oven, however, we tend to freak out (even though executive chefs are predominately men, however). For some reason, girls can usually cross gender boundaries without problems, whereas boys simply cannot.
And it's not just Dr. Ablow that has spoken out against this. Large amounts of people (including many parents) have responded negatively to the ad, saying that it's simply not right. So many people feel uncomfortable with the idea of hot pink nail polish on a boy's toes.
There is a little glimmer of hope, however. With the increasing publicity concerning the ad, more people, including parents and psychologists, have come out in support of the ad. Who cares? If the boy wants to wear hot pink nail polish, then let him! Why do we care so much about gender lines?
If you feel uncomfortable about this kind of crossing of the gender boundaries, then that's fine. But think twice about why you do. Is it because society tells us that we have to fit neatly into one gender, or is it because you truly think that boys should not be doing "girly" things. And, if it's the second one - do you think the same about girls? Should young girls not be allowed to play with Tonka trucks?
I applaud Jenna Lyons. She did a brave thing, breaking societal norms, and hopefully will continue to stand by her decision. If her son likes pink nail polish, then more power to him - he should be able to choose his likes and dislikes.
There's so many articles on the topic right now, but here's a link to the one I mostly used for the blog on CBS News. And here's the one on FOX News. Both have links to the TV coverage of the story.
One more thing - if you support the ad, I encourage you to sign this petition thanking J.Crew for putting up the ad. The company should know how much support it may have for it in the midst of all the controversy surrounding the ad.
PS - Thanks Sam for telling me about the story! :)
Thank you for writing about this! I was somewhat surprised at the controversy. Rather, I was surprised that this was even significant enough to make the news. Pink toenails on a little boy is not exactly something newsworthy to me.
ReplyDeleteI agree!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Melanie! I think this issue is a clear demonstration of how it is (somewhat) socially acceptable for girls and women to lean toward the "masculine" end of the gender expression spectrum, but not for boys and men to lean toward the "feminine" end. This double standard reinforces the widespread idea that the masculine is the ideal, while the feminine is less-than optimal. Here's hoping that this seemingly minor controversy will lead to a more open discussion of gender conditioning.
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